Repeating. again.

Another migraine this week. As I’m wrapped in the cotton wool of more headache tablets, the flickering recognition of things repeated and (tenuous) connections spark pinpricks of déjà vu. I feel like this is something I’ll expand on for future HDR study. The feeling of “already seen”. Tiny threads joining the conscious and subconscious, a blurring of the lines of memory and the moment of experience. I worked on this huge drippy painting not consciously noticing the tiny aquatint, “Curve” (Bingham, E., 2020) sitting quietly beside it. The shapes, the colours, the thoughts of pandemics and uncertainty reflected so clearly, imprinted on my own work. An I left my studio, feeling a little underwhelmed with the day’s efforts, I glimpsed a squashed ball of tape on the wall of Scott’s studio corresponding almost exactly to the scrunched up grid drawing on my own wall. Had I seen this and copied it, or had I only noticed it because of the similarity? These moments are something I want to explore in the video work. Tiny points of contact, sparking déjà vu or recognition, nostalgia or empathy. Perhaps by playing the film both forward and backwards simultaneously, the viewer will see imagery that flashes these moments of connection.

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